Running out of patience for PJ Washington
Let me look up your roster. Which team are you calling from?
Press 1 for Atlanta Hawks
Press 2 for Boston Celtics
“You gotta be kidding me… SPEAK TO REPRESENTATIVE,” you start repeating. After the fifth time, the automated service stops and you hear a ring. “Finally.”
“Who is this?” answers Mitch Kupchak.
“It’s Kevin Pritchard, Mitch. Can we talk PJ Washington, lazy ass?”
“What? You don’t like my A.I. trade machine? I’m trying to not engage in this painful to watch team as much as possible and dreaming of large frenchmen every time I close my eyes. You’re interrupting my midday nap, here. Did you at least get my baselines?”
“Yeah, yeah, I got them. Celtics pick, Jalen Smith, and Goga Bitadze is what I got for you for Washington.”
“I don’t know. We’re really looking to re-sign him. Goga’s not really what I have in mind. How about Nembhard or Nesmith? You sure you aren’t interested in Gordon Hayward still?”
“No. To all of that. I’m out of patience, Mitch. I’m going to offer Washington more than you want to pay in free agency just to piss you off at this point. I’ll move up to Cavs pick and Jalen. That’s my final.”
“Fine, grumpy. Let’s make it happen.”